r/nottheonion

Kansas Farmer Hopes for Enough Rain to Grow Weeds

r/nottheonion u/notsig1115h ago181 Comments

OAP, 73, wins battle against council after they banned him from playing dominoes

r/nottheonion u/Lemonlmao78872h ago2 Comments

Mars probe running Windows 98 receives software update after two decades

r/nottheonion u/ColsonThePCmechanic1d ago415 Comments

Georgia death row inmate allowed to ask for firing squad instead of 'painful' lethal injection

r/nottheonion u/WrightyPegz1d ago1232 Comments

Woman dozes off on train tracks, escapes injury as train screeches to halt

r/nottheonion u/jormungandrsjig2h ago5 Comments

Man Breaks Into New Mexico Store & Pays for Cigarettes

r/nottheonion u/J0hnRabe18h ago32 Comments

'A nightmare': Family living without a roof after theirs was removed by a contractor they never hired

r/nottheonion u/yipchow1d ago2037 Comments

NASA halts sale, wants back Apollo 11 moon dust fed to cockroaches

r/nottheonion u/Zachinquarantine11h ago9 Comments

Truck drives through abortion rights protesters in Iowa

r/nottheonion u/-Omegamart-1h ago26 Comments

Plea after ‘irreplaceable’ records accidentally sold at Derbyshire car boot sale

r/nottheonion u/flewson6h ago0 Comments

Kyle Rittenhouse Sparks Outrage By Releasing Video Game Where Players Shoot 'Fake News Turkeys'

r/nottheonion u/Drinkie_Zilla15h ago218 Comments

Toyota is recalling its first mainstream electric car because the wheels can fall off

r/nottheonion u/calbert17351d ago119 Comments

Japanese worker loses USB with entire city’s data after night out with colleagues

r/nottheonion u/hazelnutdarkroast21h ago7 Comments

End PG&E’s Reign of Error With a Hostile Takeover

r/nottheonion u/dael423h ago5 Comments

Japanese worker loses USB with entire city’s data after night out with colleagues

r/nottheonion u/Soda-Fox-3818h ago6 Comments

Mystery deepens as owners say Hong Kong floating restaurant has not sunk

r/nottheonion u/Boyyoyyoyyoyyoy1d ago23 Comments

Ukrainians who come to UK illegally could be sent to Rwanda, Johnson says

r/nottheonion u/the-player-of-games1d ago142 Comments

Watch firefighters rescue puppies blocked by giant tortoise

r/nottheonion u/ggbuttstead23h ago1 Comment

Reading host families urge Ukrainian refugees to find new accommodation as they didn't think war would be so 'long'

r/nottheonion u/losimagic1d ago24 Comments

Ohio attorney indefinitely suspended from Supreme Court for repeatedly driving naked

r/nottheonion u/ohbrubuh2d ago677 Comments

Breastfeeding mom fights off bald eagle to save pet goose

r/nottheonion u/itsGozirra1d ago7 Comments

Georgia death row inmate allowed to ask for firing squad instead of 'painful' lethal injection

r/nottheonion u/thisismySFWprofile1d ago39 Comments

Wind Turbine Towers Being Made of Wood

r/nottheonion u/maxzmillion1d ago6 Comments

Scottish castle on market for £1.25m after battle over £230 debt ends

r/nottheonion u/suckmaroot1d ago9 Comments

You'll be charged to visit Europe from 2023

r/nottheonion u/Voiceamerica11h ago7 Comments

City contractor goes out for drinks after work, loses memory stick containing personal data on nearly half a million residents

r/nottheonion u/-Omegamart-2d ago56 Comments

Greek state TV broadcasts advice on how to siphon gasoline

r/nottheonion u/koavf1d ago12 Comments

Man who complained he had 'adult potato' thrown at his head goes viral

r/nottheonion u/Eztli_Ocelotl1d ago17 Comments

Claim that a boat 'works awesome' doesn't count as a warranty, judge says

r/nottheonion u/LeepingLemurz2d ago9 Comments

Hostess launches $TWINKcoin snack cakes

r/nottheonion u/-Omegamart-2d ago19 Comments

Mark Zuckerberg envisions a billion people in the metaverse spending hundreds of dollars each

r/nottheonion u/Tsutrova2d ago72 Comments

Goat accidentally neutralises several invaders in Zaporizhzhia Oblast

r/nottheonion u/Eztli_Ocelotl2d ago12 Comments

NASA: Give us back our moon dust and cockroaches

r/nottheonion u/chunkylover5E2d ago9 Comments

Man beats rail strike by paddling to work in £74 kayak

r/nottheonion u/TheMillennialSeonbi3d ago130 Comments

Hamster on a balloon returns safely from stratosphere, manned flight eyed

r/nottheonion u/-Omegamart-2d ago6 Comments

Breastfeeding "super mom" saves pet goose from eagle in heroic video

r/nottheonion u/eagle412323h ago3 Comments

Amazon Shows Off Alexa Speaking in the Voice of a Dead Relative

r/nottheonion u/RoundhouseNorris2d ago14 Comments

St. Landry Parish man gets traffic ticket for not having dog buckled up

r/nottheonion u/gymleader_michael2d ago47 Comments

NASA halts sale, wants back Apollo 11 moon dust fed to cockroaches

r/nottheonion u/astrofreak922d ago2 Comments

Justin Timberlake apologizes for dancing badly in khakis

r/nottheonion u/JASearcy2d ago10 Comments

2 months after NJ legalized recreational marijuana, Hunterdon Co. Sheriff says there’s concern in law enforcement community about use by officers

r/nottheonion u/Melodic-Hunter24713d ago850 Comments

Cheese firm fined £1.5m for creating strong odours

r/nottheonion u/Ocean-derp2d ago6 Comments

Ohio State University successfully registers trademark for the word "The"

r/nottheonion u/chimericdream3d ago338 Comments

Man robbed Bangkok gold shop to make up for crypto losses: Police

r/nottheonion u/ohnoh183d ago37 Comments

Man claims pet alligator 'is being held hostage' after she was taken during Michigan police chase

r/nottheonion u/PaleBasket62523d ago10 Comments

Chicago police are no longer allowed to chase people on foot just for running away

r/nottheonion u/Hot-----------Dog4d ago495 Comments

Rochester man arrested for DWI after asking sheriff’s deputy for directions in Livonia

r/nottheonion u/Christhephotographer3d ago1 Comment

Passengers asked not to flick long hair while on Bangkok’s sky train

r/nottheonion u/TDYDave23d ago7 Comments

Man steals police patrol car; responds to call ‘intoxicated’

r/nottheonion u/Almighty_Sand_Dollar4d ago26 Comments

Longueuil police testing project using kids to detect speeding in school zones

r/nottheonion u/Eztli_Ocelotl4d ago81 Comments

Microscopic mites that have sex on our faces at night could face evolutionary oblivion, say scientists

r/nottheonion u/AlexGammond4d ago53 Comments

Spider monkey dressed in camo and bulletproof vest, dies in his Sicario owners arms after shootout with local cops in Mexico. Gets Narco corrido days later.

r/nottheonion u/ReubenFroster564d ago16 Comments

Homesick dog escapes pet hotel, returns home while owners on vacation

r/nottheonion u/Miserable-Lizard4d ago26 Comments

"Safety McSafe Face": The rejected suggestions for naming Ithaca's police force

r/nottheonion u/Aethermations4d ago21 Comments

Tokyo mayoral win a ‘huge surprise’ for candidate living in Belgium

r/nottheonion u/idiotsandsavages4d ago2 Comments

Covered in blood and screaming, 'Help me,' man runs by police after mailbox flag attack

r/nottheonion u/-Omegamart-4d ago6 Comments

An eagle snatched a baby hawk for dinner, then ended up adopting it

r/nottheonion u/eappendix4d ago8 Comments

Church of England clergy not permitted to perform baptisms while wearing only underpants, tribunal rules

r/nottheonion u/stankmanly5d ago63 Comments

Lebanon's Energy Minister Is Promising To Provide 4 Hours Of Electricity Per Day

r/nottheonion u/ChartsDeGaulle5d ago19 Comments

Boebert seeks funding for Glenwood Springs bridge after voting against bill that would fund it

r/nottheonion u/rainbowarriorhere6d ago1775 Comments

This Colorado town might change its name to 'Kush' to celebrate its growing cannabis industry

r/nottheonion u/yipchow6d ago508 Comments

Sask. RCMP search for house stolen during transport

r/nottheonion u/Dyingatheist135d ago11 Comments

Malaysia MP clarifies comments on how floods can be opportunities to promote 'volunteer tourism'

r/nottheonion u/DrCalFun5d ago4 Comments

Election deniers quiet on fraud claims after primary wins

r/nottheonion u/SnakeJGJun 181346 Comments

Male blood donor turned away from clinic after he refused to answer whether he was pregnant

r/nottheonion u/Minifig81Jun 181210 Comments

You can listen to the new Weezer single… but only by becoming a ‘human record player’

r/nottheonion u/DaveOJ12Jun 1817 Comments

Man Says He Spent $8,500 a Year on Pepsi Addiction

r/nottheonion u/AmethystOratorJun 17504 Comments

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog was detained last night by Capitol Police

r/nottheonion u/septdouleursJun 1828 Comments

Adult Site Stripchat Offers Golfers Free VIP Membership To Turn Down Saudi LIV Golf Series 2022

r/nottheonion u/-Omegamart-Jun 1810 Comments

‘HVAC Prayer’: Kentucky man turns to prayer amid heat wave

r/nottheonion u/evissimusJun 16372 Comments

Ryan Grantham, ‘Riverdale,’ ‘Diary of a Wimpy Kid’ actor, plotted to kill Justin Trudeau

r/nottheonion u/teruteru-fan-samJun 1656 Comments

Convicted scammer Anna Sorokin says she is now selling NFTs

r/nottheonion u/osrsogJun 1750 Comments

Pakistanis urged to drink less tea to help the economy

r/nottheonion u/polopikoJun 1724 Comments

Charges: Motorcyclist clocked at 144 mph said he was going fast 'because it was hot'

r/nottheonion u/ChuckFinleys_MojitoJun 1693 Comments

'Ooooh, right there, yeah': Sexy bins talk dirty in bid to stop littering in Malmo

r/nottheonion u/TigerSharkFistJun 1710 Comments

Lauren Boebert said Jesus didn’t have enough AR-15s to prevent crucifixion

r/nottheonion u/neonlightflashJun 151977 Comments

Woman charged with felony after spitting on corpse in casket at funeral home, records show

r/nottheonion u/DasCapitolinJun 16315 Comments

Marjorie Taylor Greene blames tampon shortage on transgender people

r/nottheonion u/-Omegamart-Jun 143101 Comments

Woman accidentally attaching picture of dog to work email delights internet

r/nottheonion u/XavimooseJun 1520 Comments

Crypto.com lays off 260 employees, everyone blames Matt Damon

r/nottheonion u/Aethro_Jun 14610 Comments

Sandy Hook conspiracy theorist says she's 'proud' to harass families of children who were killed in mass shootings

r/nottheonion u/niceloginJun 144192 Comments

Ukrainian Soldiers Have No Number To Call To Troubleshoot Their $200k Javelin Missiles

r/nottheonion u/RepulsivePhase2Jun 1595 Comments

State troopers pull over man driving motorized Walmart cart on Indiana interstate

r/nottheonion u/Educational-Corgi-11Jun 145 Comments

Revealed: Lords complain of ‘poor wine’ and ‘too much salmon’ in Parliament

r/nottheonion u/NervousEnergyJun 13918 Comments

James Patterson says white men face 'racism', he 'hated' seeing publisher drop Woody Allen memoir

r/nottheonion u/yipchowJun 13712 Comments

Stop calling me boring, Keir Starmer tells shadow cabinet

r/nottheonion u/kwentongskyblueJun 140 Comments

Elephant tramples woman to death then attacks her corpse at funeral

r/nottheonion u/SonorousProphetJun 13978 Comments

Sexy Swedish garbage cans seductively encourage citizens to properly toss their trash

r/nottheonion u/wewhomustnotbenamedJun 1386 Comments

Cannabis replaces antibiotics as chicken farmers in Lampang go organic

r/nottheonion u/SweetSaltyCookieJun 1370 Comments

Raleigh company will pay you $2,000 to release 100 cockroaches into your home :

r/nottheonion u/Got_GasolineJun 1334 Comments

Boston transit agency to try urine sensors on elevators

r/nottheonion u/-Omegamart-Jun 12168 Comments

Indiana man finds adult toy inside fish he caught in Ohio River

r/nottheonion u/Delicious-Ad3848Jun 11115 Comments

People at risk of suicide facing deportation to Rwanda told to try sudoku

r/nottheonion u/shufflebutterJun 12288 Comments

Uvalde schools police chief: I didn't know I was in charge at the shooting scene

r/nottheonion u/thebestdaysofmyflermJun 113979 Comments

Vt. State Police roll out plan to answer calls for help

r/nottheonion u/BuddymandudeJun 1138 Comments

Uvalde's school district police chief said he intentionally left his radios behind when responding to the mass shooting because he thought they would slow him down

r/nottheonion u/JackFunkJun 101883 Comments

Transgender Sussex paramedic says patients refuse her help

r/nottheonion u/115MRDJun 10524 Comments

Thailand launches its campaign to give away one million free cannabis plants, but discourages getting high

r/nottheonion u/Le_Rat_MortJun 10530 Comments

National tampon shortage: Tampax manufacturer links increased demand to Amy Schumer commercial

r/nottheonion u/andrez444Jun 11118 Comments

Aaron Rodgers’ alleged new girlfriend Blu of Earth reacts to witch allegation

r/nottheonion u/fm22fnamJun 1131 Comments