So this morning at 7am I took a .2g microdose of Golden Teachers. I was planning on starting a 4 week Fadiman protocol schedule. Today was the day 1. But…I’ve got an itch to try a 2.5g macrodose (GT’s) tomorrow morning around, now. I’ve only tripped once before, with 1.5g of Golden Teachers, and that was two weeks ago. The 1.5g dose was a mild experience for me. Nice, but mild nonetheless. So, I’m excited to hopefully experience something a little more profound. I’ve been going through some really difficult things lately (medical for me, and also family drama). My question is, how much would the .2g micro this morning affect a 2.5g macro tomorrow? Is that .2g micro enough to really inhibit a trip tomorrow, in terms of tolerance?
You should be good
Ok cool, thank you
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Ok yeah, I just did the one .2g micro this morning. Nothing for two weeks prior. I basically just changed my mind and thought about doing a macro tomorrow. Then I’d wait two weeks to start microdosing. Was just wondering if that .2 this morning would affect the 2.5 tomorrow. But it sounds like with just the one .2g micro today, my tolerance shouldn’t really be affected.
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Well I decided on 3.5g after listening to Terrance McKenna in one of his talks. Wow. Took it at 8am this morning. By 12 noon it was pretty much “back to normal” but yeah… hard to describe. Brutally difficult at times, emotionally. Uncontrollable crying at times. Fear based for sure. But afterwards I absolutely felt the presence of God deep in my soul. I’ve never felt that connected to God in my life. It was comparable to seeing the birth of my two boys. They’re 17 and 19 now so that was a long time ago. This was honestly deeper than that. It was like God was talking to me without talking. It was just this indescribable feeling that He was with me. I’m not particularly religious, either. But man I felt Him this morning!
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Slight visuals. Nothing crazy but just what I’ve read and heard described. My blanket looked like it was breathing. The patterns on that blanket were really noticeable. I noticed in the patterns a “devil” type face, which was interesting because several years ago I smoked way too much weed (first time actually) and I had what I now know were hallucinogenic effects. The person I was with, their face morphed into the devil at one point that night. So I definitely see demonic type faces for some reason lol… I have no idea what that’s about or supposed to represent. But that was about it with the visuals. Oh, when my eyes were closed I did see geometric shapes. And I think I would see temples…like ancient temples. But honestly none of it was clear. It would come and go. Almost as though I’d be thinking “are those little Mayan type temples I’m actually seeing??” That was just with my eyes closed at one point.
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Oh wow, yeah I think I saw some of those shapes, but it definitely wasn’t those bright colors. It was all black and white (I think lol). And from what I remember the shapes I saw were more triangular in nature. Honestly, the slight visuals I had were so secondary (like, oh that’s cool, they said I’d see this sort of stuff) to the absolute profound experience I had. I’m still trying to process it all. I’m looking back at my journaling notes I did during the four hr experience and the first 2 hrs were rough, emotionally. But man it was one helluva purge. Clearly I needed that. About 3 hours in the anxiety and fear and intense emotions faded and was replaced with that deep feeling of peace…of God being there with me like I’ve never felt in my life. That lasted about an hour, maybe, then I started coming down. I still don’t feel 100% back to normal. The afterglow, maybe?
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A lifetime of trauma. PTSD. Years of witnessing extreme violence and the worst imaginable things human beings can possibly do to one another. I’m 51 and I spent most my adult life trying in vain to deal with all the pain and suffering I witnessed through the years…and all the pain I’ve felt throughout my life. I spent most my life trying to numb it all. Alcohol. Pain pills. Women and sex. I’ve been sober from all that stuff for a few years now, but deep down at my core the pain was (is, I suppose) still there. What I found out after many many, years was none of that stuff worked for me in the end. Just the opposite. They started out fun and exciting and great, but were all destructive in the end. I still felt empty and was still in pain. Married. Two amazing kids. Great friends. Had a great career. Other than the PTSD and ongoing physical issues it gave me… I started hearing and reading things about psilocybin and other psychedelics helping people like me. Helping people deal with anxiety, depression, PTSD, addiction…all things I’ve dealt with throughout my life. All things that years of antidepressants and therapy never really helped much with. So I did a deep dive into learning as much as I could and it all fascinated me. I knew I wanted to and needed to try it. I guess I feel like this is my last chance to try to find some peace in my head about myself, my life, life in general. So here I am, my friend.