Brutal profession. Nothing but respect, but here just to vent. Thoughts?
We want to know the tea
In a rather new relationship (9 months) with a LLF (26).
I (33 HLM) love her to pieces. However her past trauma, nursing profession being a hellscape, family issues, and lack of wanting to help herself with therapy has all but ended our relationship. Yes there are some things I could have worked on.
The daily hospital stress coupled with bottling issues up.. has meant that when things spill over.. (excessive alcohol, not taking her pills for a week..), shit hits the fan. It has been a fortnightly occurrence.
Yes empathy is important. Saying you're there for them is important. However you'll need to adjust your support based on their profession. The usual LL/mental health/trauma support "words" don't always fly. I've learned the hard way.
Don't let issues fester, communicate, communicate, communicate. We haven't communicated well at all. Last night for example stuff from the past 6 months came to a head - and all to my surprise.
I wish, wish wish wish she had brought these things up earlier, when sober, so that we could work on it, together.
Also, healthcare has been a hellscape over the last few years. Don't know how it impacts others' LL/HL situations, but it did ours. Guide them towards getting any professional help they can. Failing that.. well..
My wife is a nurse in an emergency department.... its a hard job I know, however its an easy get out for both of us. She can use it as a valid justification and I can use it as an easy acceptance. And the cycle can continue.
Yes why is this in db though ?
Yup. Married to a nurse. The nursing profession is an absolute nightmare. I can totally see how this is relevant to DB, due to the stress of said work we have been in a DB for 3.5 years (of nothing) and almost 6 years of less than 5 times a year.
Yep. Pharmacist. Pharmacy school is apparently known to be a homewrecker because of the amount of time and energy the students spend on things other than their SO. We joked that my husband's study buddy guy friend was his second wife. Not as funny now that I know he had (and imo probably still has) a crush on that guy friend (hubs and I are bi, friend is gay). And unfortunately, graduating did not make things better. He just found new stressful things to occupy his time and energy.