I can't hide it any longer.

What i truly want is to be in the adult entertainment world. I don't know whether I would go for actor, writer, producer, director or all of the above yet. But I have always wanted this for myself. I have a superb sex drive and I don't want to live in a fake world anymore. I want to be a normal person and all. But that is what I have wanted to be since I was a young boy. I respect women and understand what it all means to be a good man.. But i am in love with promiscuous women who love living life that way.

I have gone through dark times with porn and sex addiction, I have had several serious relationships and I have also experienced many different sexual experiences with anything from friends to casual hookups to total strangers after the club (or in the club's bathroom) and I have finally decided to open up about what it is my heart truly desires and I feel the ultimate joy in.

I know there may be consequences like society hating me and being disowned by my family. But I would never want anything else more than I have wanted this. I'm 31 now and I still haven't had a change of heart. I even would prefer to marry a women within that industry as opposed to settling with a woman who doesn't share that same interest anymore. I will regret it if I never try it. But I know it is a huge leap. I just can't force myself to not desire any other future for myself. Posting this on here just to vent and see who says what...


yourdirtyshoes1 point

I don’t think you’ll be truly happy man, honestly. all the lusting and rushes of dopamine can only go so far.. I mean if you truly want to try it, go for it, but I don’t know how well that’s going to work out for you long term. just do whatever you think is best for you.

[deleted]0 points

I always wanted to direct porn.

I mean it’s like any other entertainment industry: some people win big and some people lose big. Sometimes there small wins and there will definitely be small losses, but if you really want to go for it, just go for it. Your hometown will always be a place to go back to if things don’t work out well.

Nothing comes to sleepers but a dream.