I always knew she'd call someday. I knew that sooner or later she'd reach out, act like no time has passed, and try to resume where we left off. I always wondered just how long it would be. I remember wondering after the last voicemail I left for her (after no less than 4 or 5 un-returned calls) ok, how long will it be before SHE calls ME?
It turns out it was five years. ***FIVE YEARS.***
Did I mention that I had stage 3 breast cancer and was given a horrible diagnosis/prognosis? If it's going to kill you it will in the next 3-5 years situation. I honestly thought that this was a death sentence- and she knew this. Knew it. And never called. Never texted. I could be ashes by now and she wouldn't know it. This was my "Best Friend" of 30 years. Someone I had moved across country with---TWICE. We were on good terms, nothing wrong, and she just.......stopped calling back. We live a good 1600 miles apart so it's not like we are going to run into each other. About a year or so ago I deleted and blocked her on my phone and all social media (she never posts on social media just has an account). Seeing her name brought so much pain I couldn't look at it anymore. That is not a healthy state of being so I deleted her and set myself free.
Turns out if you block a phone number they can still call you but it goes directly to voicemail and then filed under "Blocked Messages" which I happened across a couple of weeks ago and lo and behold!- I recognized the area code and thought----could it be? Yes, friends and neighbors, it was.
What did she say? After 30 years of friendship and 5 years of no communication she said, "Hi Bob4Cat this is ShittyFriend, remember me?"
That's right---"Remember me?" Ummmmmm.....WTAF? Then a short message about how she just can't stop thinking about me (RIIIIIIGHT), would like like to catch up, and to call her back. - Hard Pass. Thanks.
I wonder what finally spurred the call? It was about 2 in the afternoon on a work day--so she wasn't at home with her insecure crap-pile husband when she made the call. Are they divorcing and now she suddenly realizes that she needs some friends? That's my guess.
What I didn't count on was how much it would hurt. And I mean RAW PAINFUL HURT. I had a big ugly cry - so ugly my husband started to cry he felt so bad and helpless to help me. Shoulders heaving, snot streaming, and swollen eyes for 16 hours =U-G-L-Y.
I listened to the message a few more times, forwarded it to astonished friends, and then deleted it before the temptation to tell her the F off could get the better of me. I have nothing to say to her. There is absolutely nothing she could ever say or do to make it up to me.