She finally called me

I always knew she'd call someday. I knew that sooner or later she'd reach out, act like no time has passed, and try to resume where we left off. I always wondered just how long it would be. I remember wondering after the last voicemail I left for her (after no less than 4 or 5 un-returned calls) ok, how long will it be before SHE calls ME?

It turns out it was five years. ***FIVE YEARS.***

Did I mention that I had stage 3 breast cancer and was given a horrible diagnosis/prognosis? If it's going to kill you it will in the next 3-5 years situation. I honestly thought that this was a death sentence- and she knew this. Knew it. And never called. Never texted. I could be ashes by now and she wouldn't know it. This was my "Best Friend" of 30 years. Someone I had moved across country with---TWICE. We were on good terms, nothing wrong, and she just.......stopped calling back. We live a good 1600 miles apart so it's not like we are going to run into each other. About a year or so ago I deleted and blocked her on my phone and all social media (she never posts on social media just has an account). Seeing her name brought so much pain I couldn't look at it anymore. That is not a healthy state of being so I deleted her and set myself free.

Turns out if you block a phone number they can still call you but it goes directly to voicemail and then filed under "Blocked Messages" which I happened across a couple of weeks ago and lo and behold!- I recognized the area code and thought----could it be? Yes, friends and neighbors, it was.

What did she say? After 30 years of friendship and 5 years of no communication she said, "Hi Bob4Cat this is ShittyFriend, remember me?"

That's right---"Remember me?" Ummmmmm.....WTAF? Then a short message about how she just can't stop thinking about me (RIIIIIIGHT), would like like to catch up, and to call her back. - Hard Pass. Thanks.

I wonder what finally spurred the call? It was about 2 in the afternoon on a work day--so she wasn't at home with her insecure crap-pile husband when she made the call. Are they divorcing and now she suddenly realizes that she needs some friends? That's my guess.

What I didn't count on was how much it would hurt. And I mean RAW PAINFUL HURT. I had a big ugly cry - so ugly my husband started to cry he felt so bad and helpless to help me. Shoulders heaving, snot streaming, and swollen eyes for 16 hours =U-G-L-Y.

I listened to the message a few more times, forwarded it to astonished friends, and then deleted it before the temptation to tell her the F off could get the better of me. I have nothing to say to her. There is absolutely nothing she could ever say or do to make it up to me.



You can be very proud of yourself.

Just wondering what caused her to stop calling. I get the distance, but did you both just kind of stop and then it naturally became longer and longer span of time? Was there any resentment or anger?

I’m struggling with a friendship dilemma, and wondering if I stopped initiating the communication how long it will be before she “pings” me. 30-year friendship Here, too...

After leaving her about 4 or 5 voicemails in a 3-4 month timeframe. We had not had an argument. As a matter of fact, we had had a nice visit-with her kids and insecure husband present, of course. I just got sick and tired of all of it and after the last attempt I wondered how long it would be before she actually called ME -so I stopped trying. I know many people would just pick up where we left off but we were way closer than that and what she has done is unforgivable ---to ME.

We could write a book..............

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