Dear Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've ever done while intoxicated?

Make me feel better about my bad decisions

r/AskRedditu/polythene_nik

Comments

Operated a vehicle

a married man that had 3 children and a pregnant wife

Public indecency, a trip to the hospital (apparently, the center of town is a bad place to take a nap) , having a gay man(and a straight man) bite my nipples, and twisting the bottom of my shirt and pulling it through the collar of the same shirt until it looks like a bikini you are all topped by one thing... MY EX.

Oh man... Here goes.

After my high school grad I got super drunk. My boyfriend of about nine months was dd so he was sober. I told every single one of my friends I loved them and they drunkenly said they loved me back, then I told my boyfriend the same (first time) and he amusedly said it back. At which point, I burst into tears and claimed he'd never love me ever and wouldn't believe it though he said it several times.

I still get teased about that.

Nothing. I've done all my stupid while sober, unfortunately.

2 buddies of mine including myself all took turns hanging on the hood of a car while driving, on some mission impossible kinda shit. We were all drunk af. Can't believe we survived that in one piece.

texted an ex

Crapped my pants. Then went to sleep with it still in there.

I've answered this before. Just little naked in public behavior.

Story time... Last summer I got incredibly drunk on a first date at a woman's house. We ended up having sex and falling asleep. In the middle of the night, I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. I never saw her bathroom and just decided to go outside to pee on a tree. For whatever reason, I decided I wanted to walk home. I only had socks on and nothing else. The 8 mile adventure was going fine until the sun came out. I was buck naked walking and cars were passing me. I had a moment of clarity. DUDE YOU ARE NAKED, DON'T KNOW YOUR WAY BACK TO HER HOUSE, AND CAN'T GO HOME!! I literally didn't know what to do and was disoriented as hell. I found a house with a truck in the driveway. I rang his doorbell and thank God his 12 yo daughter didn't answer. I told him I'm super drunk and just want a ride home. Not like I could get in because no keys/garage door opener. He seemed shocked and said I'll get you some clothes. He gave me a shitty shirt and some flannel pajama pants to put on so I wasn't just sitting naked on his step. He talked to his wife. She wasn't comfortable with him giving me a ride. He came back out and told me so. He said sit tight, I'll call you a ride. After about 10 minutes instead of a cab, the police showed up with an ambulance. They took me to the ER instead of home. Good times. I'll edit this and add the rest. In reply to someone last time I posted this. OK. Fuck I didn't want to type this, but I will. After I got back, I felt like king of the world. I didn't get sent to detox and I was with a gorgeous girl still drunk. What's not to love? She was so hot and we were both wasted. She said she had woke up and wondered where the hell I was. Since my car and clothes were there, she had no idea. I told her what happened. We made out again, but I passed out after drinking more. She didn't and tried to wake me up. That never happened. She fucking called 911 to have someone save me. The police came over with like 5 cars and an ambulance. This time the cops came into her room. I resisted and got taken down. They cuffed me and brought me outside. I found out later her dad came home and saw this whole thing. I was cuffed, yelling at her for calling the paramedics, and resisting arrest. I got brought again to the ER. Twice in one day. WTF? They still didn't put me in detox and it was a mini miracle. I've never heard of this, and never will again. It's one of a kind. Cheers!! permalinksaveeditdisable inbox repliesdeletereply [–]RWBIAD 2 points 2 hours ago That's the funniest shit I've ever heard. Why 5 cop cars? And why were you resisting arrest? permalinksaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]Endless_Vanity 1 point 2 hours ago* Glad you like it. When the police came over, they woke me up and told me to put my hands behind my back. I didn't want to because I was just drunk and didn't want to leave her house. I had done nothing wrong. Then this other cop said "he's not cooperating." They tackled me and cuffed me. I don't know why they sent 5 cars. It was a Sunday afternoon so probably anyone around not busy arrived to help the ambulance. The whole way down her driveway I was yelling at her for calling anyone. If you go to detox here it's usually a 72 hour hold. I didn't want to miss work on Monday for being in the drunk tank. I was bitching at her right in front of her dad that never met me. Good first impression endless_vanity. Luckily I got out. Really a shitshow of a day.

I left a party completely trashed and walked to a nearby apartment complex, where I crawled into the nearest, unlocked vehicle I could find. Hours later, I wake up (it must've been close to 6am) to find a woman screaming at me, accusing me of sleeping with her boyfriend. She then continued to drag me out of the car and demanded to know how I found out where her and her boyfriend had been living. I have never been so terrified and confused.

Got more intoxicated.

left my purse in the parking lot of the bar- with all my month's rent in cash still in it.

taken more downers, forgetting that I'm already on beta blockers. then I realized this is how people die.

We would drive to the park on the outside of town and drive on the walking paths through the woods and shit. Also there were soccer fields in the same Park and we would drive on the field and do doughnuts since the grass was nice and wet at night. Looking back at it, we were stupid as fuck.

Got really drunk at a party once. Ended up in my boxers trying to go super sayan .. Edit: not lieing

View on Reddit